The World Isn’t Round

16-01-2014 Thursday


I think I am developing some kind of feelings for Evelyn. It might be love it might be sympathy. It is hard to distinguish between these two when you’ve never really had or understood either of the feelings. It’s kind of mixed up. By the way, Evelyn is that girl that makes these awkward remarks. She comes across as gullible, stupid (although unintelligent sounds nicer), ignorant and a little bit out of this worl. Sometimes she kind of makes me think of the less intelligent me.

Today I started doubting all these qualities in her. I think it’s just an act to fool everybody. She’s actually this highly intelligent spy from another planet that has problems blending into this society. Maybe it’s some sort of malfunctioning software installed in her brain. I don’t know; I just can’t believe someone would do the things she does and the way she does them or say the things she says or the way she says them (am I making myself clear at all?). She’s really something else, and I’m not sure whether it is positive or negative.

What made me say these things about her? Well, let me give you a nice example. And let me tell you beforehand, the only reason I believe this story to be true is because I was there to witness it myself. As a matter of fact, I am nearly always there when she says or does things like this (maybe it’s me). You might have some difficulties believing this; I know I would have difficulties myself if I were you. The ghost stories I have told so far sound ever so much more convincing than the stupidity and ignorance of this girl.

Let’s take last year. I know she was only twelve years old then (nearly thirteen, I believe), but most of you had probably given up the idea of the world being flat somewhere in primary school, right? Well, during one of the first geography lessons our teacher – Mrs Hoover – was dealing with the capitals and big cities of the world and showed us a world map. Nothing the matter so far.

Mrs Hoover walks up to one of the cupboards, opens it and takes out a lovely and shiny globe. This is when the shit hit the fan. Evelyn’s eyes widened, staring at this globe everywhere Mrs Hoover took it. It was as if Evelyn had completely shut down all systems in her body just to blankly stare at that big blue round thing in Mrs Hoover’s hands.

Mrs Hoover was talking on end about different countries, their capitals and biggest cities, the size of the world and all that, and all of a sudden Evelyn just jumped up; system overload! ‘WHAT IS THAT!?’ she shouted while pointing at the globe. I don’t know if you have ever seen those hunting dogs that see their prey and then suddenly freeze while pointing at the hiding place with their nose … that was Evelyn at that very moment.

Mrs Hoover – much like everybody else in the entire classroom – was flabbergasted. Was this girl serious? You could just see Mrs Hoover’s brains were having difficulties coping with the question. ‘If she was, how bad is it? What can we do to save this lady? Where is she from? What are her beliefs?’ And so on, and so on, etc. etc.

Evelyn’s eyes switched from staring at the globe to staring at Mrs Hoover. Then Mrs Hoover said,’ You mean this globe I have in my hand? Why this is a globe; a small representation of the world. Have you never seen one of these things before?’

Then Evelyn said,’ Yes, but why is it round?’

Evelyn, believe you me, had up till then always believed the world was flat. Well, round to a certain extend in that it was as round as a pancake. Her former school only had those big maps hanging from the ceiling. For some strange reason it has never gotten through to her that the world was round. Maybe she had been sleeping through all the geography and history classes. I have no idea. What I do know is that it was not the best of starts one could have at a new school.

Now, as you might understand, it is an ever-continuing story of Evelyn’s stupidity against the world. But, as I said, I think my feelings for her are changing, yet, I have no idea into what, I’m not an expert in these kinds of things. And … it’s way past bedtime. I talk too much for a socially awkward guy. See me tomorrow. Image


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