Today I tried to apologize to Evelyn for all the times I laughed at her stupidity, but I couldn’t find the words so I just said,’ Hey Eve … What’s up?’ I didn’t really wait for a response; I just backed off and walked away. Where’s Grandma and her words of wisdom when you need it!?
I am looking forward to this weekend. Mr Bent told me he had a dowsing rod for me and he was going to show me how it works and all. He actually came to our house to tell us that. Maybe he is gaining in on me on social skills. Should I talk him into getting a Facebook page as well? … Naah, he would probably be the Facebook Recluse or something. Like, as soon as anybody would send him an invite, he’d tell them to sod off, because he just wants to be the Facebook Recluse.
Sometimes I wish Mum and Dad had made me a brother or a sister. I just don’t think they wanted the agony of either having another kid like me or having sex again. Maybe it was both. Although the fear of having another socially handicapped child might have been a far greater issue judging by the noises I sometimes hear at night. Who needs biology classes!? All I need is a narrator.
Today’s blog is not really a coherent story, maybe it’s because I am still thinking about Evelyn a bit (just a bit!) (alright, just a bit too much). Everything is just spinning around. My thoughts are going everywhere,’ I should have said this’, ‘I should have done that’, ‘Stupid me’, ‘What if…’, ‘Maybe next time…’ and so on. It’s incredible how these things work. You’ve got it all worked out in your brains, but when push comes to shove, your brains just fail you. They let you down time and time again.
Same thing goes for talks in class. No matter how much I practise these things at home. I lie in bed at night going over every single detail. First I will say this, my next point will be that, followed by these slides, etc. Then when they ask this, I will show them that and tell them this. The teacher will probably ask this, so I will give him that answer. As soon as you face those kids and the teacher in class, my brains go like,’ Who am I? Where am I? And what was I supposed to be doing here?
I guess it’s time to go to bed and go over all the things that are probably not going to happen the way I am going to think about them tonight. See me tomorrow.