The Coffin Lift


24-02-2014 Monday

Aha, today is the twenty-fourth … Happy Monday everybloody. I got caught up last night helping Mr Bent with his household chores. Actually, he’s doing pretty fine. I just like to hang out with him. It beats staying home and listening to Mum and Dad argue or bicker or fight. Mr Bent has so many a story to tell. He should be writing books instead of reading them. I bet he’d have been a millionaire if had started writing everything down ten years ago. All those stories, but I haven’t even finished the one I started yesterday, so let’s do that first.

‘What would a hospital be without a lift? St Bart’s has many of them, but there is one lift in particular that makes St Bart’s a little bit more famous. It is called the ‘Coffin Lift’. Not that it is shaped like a coffin, oh no. It looks like any other lift, it just hidden away somewhere in the deep depths of St Bart’s. Nobody has been buried in it either. Not yet, that is. Someone has been killed in it, though. It is said that a nurse was killed in the lift by a patient who had gone round the bend. The result is a lift with a mind of its own. It likes to tease. It likes to play. It likes to taunt people just a tad.
, As I said, it looks just like any other ordinary lift, but when passengers get into the lift and push the button of the floor they would like to go to, the lift won’t take them there. The lift decides, the lift is in control and the lift would like to go someplace else: downstairs. Irrespective of which floor you choose to go, the lights will go out and it will take you all the way down to the basement … in the dark. There you can push any button you’d like, but the lift won’t move an inch. The only thing left to do is to try and pull open the gate, get out, and walk back up.
, Is that not scary enough for you? Wait till you get back on the ground floor. As you get to the ground floor you will notice that the Coffin Lift will be waiting there for you, arms open wide. Most people will then choose to walk up, afraid of ending up in the basement again. Slowly but steady they will walk up the stairs. With every step they take the feeling that they’re being followed increases. The staircase twists around the shaft and they’ll notice that with every step they take, the lift will take it with them. Up or down, it won’t matter, the lift will follow.’
Stories like this make me never want to set foot in a lift again. There are some horror films about lifts, but I don’t think I am going to watch any of them. Lifts already freak me out when they’re too small, or when they make too much noise, or when they are too shaky. Mr Bent has no problems with lifts. I bet he’d like to try the Coffin Lift himself. He’s that kind of guy. I am the kind of the guy that has to some homework. I will have to leave you. See me tomorrow. 


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