Shaped Like An Apple

09-03-2014 Sunday


I tried sleeping in today, because I couldn’t seem to catch sleep last night. Cheddar came to wake me up at 8.00. I sure am happy with the dog, on the other hand, it would have been nice if I had been able to sleep a little longer. Taking Cheddar for a walk at 8.30, half asleep, unwashed and in my most casual outfit ever does not make me look sexy and wanted. All right, I admit, it does make me look ‘wanted’. My face like this would look great on one of those old wanted photos. The only thing missing is a 5-o’clock shadow. It might take some years for me to have that.
Walking Cheddar I decided it was time for me to do more than just mind what I’m eating. It is time to get that body in motion. Fight that fat. Get into shape, a different shape than round. That is why I am going to start doing push-ups (while my hands can still touch the ground when lying on my belly). I am going to do sit-ups, and burpees and I’ll see what other things I can come up with. Maybe I could watch Rocky for some inspiration. Jogging, on the other hand, is not an option.
‘Why?’ I hear you ask. We’ll, every day I see those joggers in Kensington Park – just like this morning – and it really depresses me much. Cheddar and I often pass joggers. Yes, that’s right, we pass them while they should be passing us. And Cheddar and I are just strolling through the park. It’s not like we’re trying to outrun each other or anything. As we’re walking they pass us by, tongues dragging over the path, grasping for air and going as fast as any pedestrian on a Boxing Day down at Oxford Street. That, to my opinion, is not working out (pun intended). It is depressing and a waste of time. I have been passing a lot of these people by for over a year and some only seem to have been getting fatter instead of faster. One letter makes all the difference.
So, this morning, after having walked Cheddar, I started with five push-ups (on my knees, but it is a start), ten sit-ups, ten burpees and about 25 cherry pickers. I believe that is what the PE teach said they were called It looked a bit like a windmill to me. Yes, I admit, it killed me. Four simple exercises and I felt like I was dying. PE at school has not been very helpful over these years, apparently. I will have to work harder during those lessons as well. I think if I can keep it up – a healthier diet and working out – I should be in a better shape than apple-shaped within a year.
I am keeping it short today, because I have been neglecting my homework for way too long. There’s a pile of work on my desk that I really need to get rid of. Luckily Mum doesn’t come into my room that often so she has no idea, but it is time to get some of that work done, too. Enjoy today’s weather and see me tomorrow. 

4 thoughts on “Shaped Like An Apple

  1. Hi Arthur! My favorite parts of this piece were the “wanted” and “most wanted” word plays and the faster/fatter one letter switch. You know how I love manipulating language! The title caught my eye too… I did a whole post about how silly magazines label people’s bodies a pear or an apple, etc! You are right too about jiggers with their tongues on the ground…. Lol! Perfect! Just start doing what YOU ENJOY — the less chore-like it feels, the more you will WANT to do it. And remember… Don’t stop writing, you’re very talented and even though it may not be a calorie burner, in my opinion, it keeps you in shape in so many other ways.

    • Dear Stephanie (can I call you that?),

      I have read some of your blogs (I haven’t had the time to read all of them, I’m sorry, I’m trying my best) and I noticed your love for wordplays. Your blogs are really inspirational and I can learn a lot from your writings. I hope someday I’ll be able to write a book.
      I couldn’t find the post you were talking about (I still don’t know how to use certain features of wordpress), but I did find a great post on girls and what guys should say or not say … it was dead funny.
      If you have any good tips on how to improve, that would be great.
      Kindest of regards,


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