French Kissing In The UK

11-03-2014 Tuesday

There’s been some Internet problems since yesterday, so I was not online very much today. Dad got round to fixing the problem at 22.30 after I had told him for the so manieth time what the problem was last time Internet was down. I don’t know if anyone remembers this, but we had Internet problems before and that was because Cheddar had been messing about with the cables. At least, Mum blamed Cheddar. For some reason I think it’s Mum who’s been ‘accidentally’ pulling some of the plugs while cleaning the house, but we’ll never know because poor ol’ Cheddar can’t talk. Wagging its tale on the other hand …
We have not been spotted as far as I know. I mean Evelyn and I, Arthur. Though I think it is kind of official that we are a couple – even though we haven’t even kissed each other – we are trying our best to lay low for the time being. Some people can be quite annoying when they know you’re a couple. They ask stupid questions, make silly remarks, and say mean things about it behind your back. That’s why we’ll probably spend most of our time holding hands underneath the table and send each other love letters. I will have to work on my sweet talk. Also, I will have to start practising my kisses. Somebody once told me you could practise this on your hand. I tried it after school today standing in front the bathroom mirror. It looked stupid.
As I said yesterday, it’s in the air. Almost the entire school is talking about what happened yesterday between Mr Owen and Mrs Williams. Everybody is wondering what it is they did last night. Stories very from going to the cinema to things that kids my age should not be talking about. Even though I know about these things, does not mean I want to hear about it. Especially when it concerns teachers or parents. I think it’s gross.
For some people it just isn’t in the air. I don’t think it’s in the air for Mr Williams. His wife is having an affair with Mr Owens, the whole school is talking about it, and he might be at home or at work thinking everything is hunky-dory. I feel sorry for Mr Williams and even though it’s an SEP (Somebody Else’s Problem – see Hitchhiker’s Guide for more details on this) I do think somebody should inform him on this and with someone I actually mean Mrs Williams. I’d hate it if he were to hear this through the grapevine. Maybe somebody should talk to Mrs Williams about this. Not me.
Because of those Internet problems it’s already way past my bedtime. I hope to be dreaming a little dream of Evelyn, tonight. When I was brushing my teeth I tried practising a kiss with my toothbrush, but it made me gag and I think part of my tooth broke off. I’m not sure; it could also have been part of the toothbrush. I will check in the morning. See me tomorrow. 

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