The Real Deal

18-03-2014 Tuesday

Something today got me thinking today about words like ‘real’ and ‘genuine’ and ‘best’ and such. Like, when you buy food and it says on the package,’ Made with real milk!’ That makes me think. Is just ‘milk’ not good enough? Is there something like ‘fake milk’? Have I been drinking the wrong kind of milk my entire life? Who’s doing this to us? Who is being so cruel that they’re selling us milk that isn’t even real milk!? And what is that milk made of then? Whom can we sue for this!? Why wasn’t I told about this sooner!? Have you never wondered about this? I hadn’t, up till today. All these questions were going through my head. Made with ‘real milk’. I am waiting to find a product that advertises with something like,’ Made with real artificial milk!’ Or,’ Now even more real!’ 
During dinner I asked Dad if we were having ‘genuine lettuce’ and if he could prove it was the real deal. He looked at me in a funny way and said,’ Who (nasty word) cares if this is ‘genuine lettuce’!? Lettuce is lettuce. It looks like lettuce, it tastes like lettuce, so it must be lettuce. Now shhh and just eat it!’ Which isn’t much of an answer, really. I looked at Mum and she just shrugged and said,’ Listen to your father,’ then she took another bite of what Dad said is ‘real lettuce’. What if I was eating the wrong kind of lettuce? What if this was fake lettuce and Mum and Dad don’t know it? Is this what lettuce should really taste like? How does Dad know what ‘real’ lettuce tastes like?
See, that’s another one of those problems. Say you want to have Toad In The Hole for dinner. You open up one of the cookbooks and it says,’ The Real Toad In The Hole’ or something like that. It makes me wonder if all the other cookbooks have it wrong when they say ‘Toad In The Hole The Original’ even though the recipe differs on many ingredients with other cookbooks. Which of these recipes should I believe? What is Toad In The Hole supposed to taste like? How do I know if I’m not being conned by manufacturers into eating something that is not really the real thing? They’re not allowed to – or at least shouldn’t be allowed to – lie through their teeth like that.
All this thinking about ‘real’ and ‘genuine’ lead to another word I found and still find quite frustrating: ‘best’. Often when walking through town we pass restaurants advertising their food with things like ‘The Best Burger in Town’. The ‘best burger’! Says who!? I would like to be the judge of that, please. I think your burgers stink! There are tens of restaurants claiming to sell the best burger or the best of something. How can they all sell ‘the best’!? They’re not selling the same burgers, that’s for sure. And they don’t have the same cooks. Has anybody done any research on who sells the best of what? And how do those people doing the research know what burgers are supposed to taste like? I am one confused teenager. So many questions, so little answers.
I’m sorry, dear readers, that I haven’t said anything about my life today, but I was and still am, I bit frustrated by these questions. It’s like my entire life people have been and will be lying to me about these things just to sell me their wares. They’re making things up for personal profit and I think that should be against the law and there should be people investigating these matters. I am in favour of changing these restaurant signs into things like,’ We Sell Burgers, You Be The Judge!’ or something more honest anyways. I would love to hear your ideas on this. See me tomorrow. 

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