Kids Are From Mars

20-03-0214 Thursday

I think I’m not really cut out for a certain kind of lingo. I posted something on Facebook about it. Some kids were saying things like,’ Did you see those hoes in the schoolyard?’ and ‘Mighty fine hoes, outside’. Turned out that ‘hoes’ was another word for girls or ‘female species’ as our biology teacher would say. I wonder if those girls were called that way because they’re good at gardening. They didn’t look like gardeners to me, but I could well be mistaken.
There’s more lingo I just don’t seem to understand and sometimes it feels like these kids here are from another planet. ‘Kids are from Mars, Parents are from Venus’ and I guess I’m from Pluto. They write each other notes and most of the times there aren’t even words on the notes, just weird letter combinations and numbers (and guys usually draw specific body parts on them as well). What is this? Is it some kind of secret code that you only learn when you part of a certain clan? What happened to our beautiful language? Have I forgotten to download the latest version? Is it English 2.1 or have we already moved on to English Vista? I hope someday I’ll get the hang of it.
I’ll be going over to Mr Bent later for a couple of reasons. First of all, he might know more about this lingo thing. He’s got so many books; there must be at least one book on his bookshelves with information on it. Secondly, I want to talk to him about our new neighbour (Eunice? Unice?). She hasn’t even moved into the house yet and already she’s been snooping around, ringing our doorbell just to see if we were in, because the car wasn’t there and she was wondering whether everything was okay. Sweet, but kind of annoying. I wonder what Mr Bent thinks about her.
Also, I need Mr Bent’s advice on men stuff. There are just some things I need advice on and not the kind of advice Dad would give me. Last time he tried to have ‘the talk’ with me he failed horribly and it was an awkward situation for the both of us. And I shared it with the world … sorry Dad. One day – when I’m famous – you’ll thank me for it, and I’ll thank you, promised. Pinky swear! Mr Bent just knows a lot of things and he’s really open-minded and very easy to talk to, even for people like me. Everybody should have a Mr Bent in his life.
Last but not least, I have been nominated by Nat for the Liebster Award! I have no idea what it is, but I am so happy to be nominated for something. I’ve never been nominated for anything, well, at least not up till now. Sometimes it’s a good thing not to be nominated for something. I have, as far as I know, never been nominated for ugliest boy in class. Which is good. And other times I wish I had been nominated for some things like being the most eloquent boy in class. That last nomination should really be in place if you take into account what I said earlier about my classmates’ lingo.
Here’s just a couple of things I saw today: W8 4 it; C u l8er; bff 4-ever; I ❤ u. Pray, what does it all mean? Why have they done this to such a beautiful language!? It’s like changing Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man by a stick figure! Even worse, maybe. Anyways, I’m going to stop about it. I’m off to see Mr Bent. A big thanks to Nat, I wish I could do something in return. Hopefully one day, for now you’ll have to settle for my eternal friendship. See me tomorrow. 


10 thoughts on “Kids Are From Mars

    • Dear Katie,

      To show you my appreciation for your work and your support I have nominated you for the Liebling Award. You can read a little bit about it in my own Liebling Story of today. Don’t ask me too much about it, because I only found out about this yesterday.

      Kindest of regards,


  1. I swear your “character names” are even priceless, too. Mr Bent! Really, truly Arthur?? I love your metaphor about Vitruvian Man as a stick figure also. Great work today, Young Salinger. See you tomorrow.

    • Dear Stephanie.
      To show my gratitude a little and my respect for you, your work and your life (which I read about in your blogs) I have nominated you for the Liebling Award. Don’t ask me what it is, I only found out about this award yesterday. I posted something about it today. I am looking forward to your piece.
      Kindest of regards,


  2. Hi Arthur. I agree with you that everyone should have a Mr. Bent in their life. My father was my “Mr. Bent.” He was also my best friend, and he always had great advice. Unfortunately, he passed away, and I (still) really miss him. Even at my age (and I’m a few years older than you 😉 it’s still nice to have a Mr. Bent around. As for the “lingo,” it sounds like American ghetto slang has crossed the Atlantic… too bad. Be well! Ron

    • Dear Ron,

      Thank you for your reaction. It’s amazing how some Dads can be. My condolences. It’s good to hear that I’m not the only person who needs a Mr Bent in his life.
      It’s American Ghetto slang … wow. It sounds really gangster like. Though, the kids who are using it are not really that gangster. Why would they want to use language like that?

      • Hi Arthur,

        You’re definitely not the only person who needs a Mr. Bent in his life. I think we can all use someone like him once in a while.

        Regarding the slang, I think it’s kind of like kids smoking. They want (again 😉 to look older, and I’d say they talk the “gangsta rap” because they think it’s cool, but it’s really not. I’d say that the media is largely to blame for sending the wrong messages and for promoting the wrong role models for kids. It’s obvious that you think for yourself and that you have a good head on your shoulders! Congratulations!

      • Hi Arthur,

        I started to reply to your comment the other day, and everything suddenly disappeared! It must be my magical touch. Sorry for the late reply, but I think that most people need a Mr. Bent in their lives, even if they don’t think that they do.

        Regarding the “gangsta rap,” I think that kids often talk that way so they can “fit in” and seem “cool,” even though it’s anything but cool to talk like that. (Why would someone want to go out of their way to look like a moron? 😉

        I think it’s kind of like kids smoking so they can look older. Maybe if I start sucking on a pacifier, I’ll seem younger? (Probably dumber but not younger.) Again, when you’re younger you want to look older, and when you’re older, you want to look younger! 😉 Sometimes you just can’t win!

      • Dear Mr Lewis,

        I’m sorry for a late reply, too. I’ve been very busy with b-day things. Sorry to hear that everything disappeared. I hate it when that happens. Sometimes I have the same problem writing a blog.
        Haha, well, that ‘gangsta rap’ looks a little silly to me. It does not make them look cool. It makes them look like they don’t know their own language.
        Do you think there is something like the ‘ideal’ or ‘right’ age. The age that you’ll actually feel like you have it and want it?

        Kind regards,


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