Nothing Nice About Unice

22-03-2014 Saturday

Our new neighbour is moving in today and I don’t like it and I don’t like her. Yesterday she did the same thing to us as she did to Mr Bent: barging into our house without an invite and just talking for hours on end. First she talked about herself, then about nearly everybody in the street and then she tried to get personal information from us. She hasn’t even moved into her new house in the street and already she knows everybody and everything. How in the world did she do that? Mum and Dad did not want to seem rude so they let her come in and stay for a while. They even offered her tea and biscuits. I would have offered some stuffing had somebody asked me; but I wasn’t asked. I guess they wanted to get on her good side, as they probably don’t want to be part of Unice’s gossips. What would it take for Mum and Dad to understand that everybody is going to end up a character in her gossips? Me thinks that she’s been into all of those houses and was probably offered tea and biscuits by most of the people, yet, here she is telling us all the latest gossips on them. That’s not a way to treat people and if it were up to me, she’d be out her house before she had even gotten the chance to move in there.
I wrote quite a long story this morning because I was nominated for the Liebster Award. I didn’t know if I would have the time to come back and write some more, but luckily I did. As I said yesterday I was going to tell Mum and Dad about Evelyn. All day long I had been thinking of a good way to start. The entire conversation had been going through my head in hundreds of different ways with just as many different outcomes. Also, I was making excuses all the time for not going downstairs to tell them. Most of the times I’d just say to myself that it was not the right time yet. Truth is there’s no right time or place for these things. Best thing is to just blurt it out.
Slowly I walked down the stairs trying not to make a sound for no apparent reason. Looking round the corner to see what they were doing. Dad was watching a film with lots of shooting scenes in it and Mum was reading some sort of magazine. I tried to walk into the room as casual as casual and said,’ Hey, did you hear Arthur’s got this amazing new girlfriend!?’ I just stood there in the middle of the room staring from one parent to the other waiting for some sort of reaction. They were looking at me and at each other in turns and I guess that they were both waiting for the other to say something about this.
Of all the scenes that had been going through my head, this wasn’t one of them. First thing Dad said to Mum,’ You owe me a fiver.’ Followed by a,’ Well, Arthur, as long as you don’t get into trouble and use a condom.’ Mum hushed him and took me to the kitchen for a talk. She made me some tea, took out some biscuits and said we should celebrate this moment a little. Then as we were drinking our tea she started asking all kinds of questions about Evelyn, a lot of which I couldn’t answer. I wrote her an IOU for the answers and she said she’d talk to Dad about this. He’ll get used to the idea. Also, Mum would like to meet her, but I’m not sure about that. I’m kind of relieved and I think it went pretty well. That’s it for today. I have written an awful lot, more than enough. See me tomorrow. 


6 thoughts on “Nothing Nice About Unice

  1. Your descriptions are so thorough – I could so completely empathise with the feeling of having to break news. At 37, married with 3 children already, I still had the very same nerves telling my dad, and even more my sister, that I was pregnant again. But once the news is out there it soon becomes normal.
    As for Unice: people quickly spot a gossip and will hold back on befriending her. Which is a bit sad for her. Hopefully she’ll learn that it’s more valuable to be trusted.

  2. Arthur!! This is sooooooo tremendously great! I got hysterical that you wanted to offer her stuffing. Plus I think you needed to tell your parents “the news about Evelyn” before Unice did!!! Sorry, I’m not laughing but I kinda am – – I love life’s irony!! So who nominated you for that Liebster award?? Where can I find your piece about it? I am soooooooooo thrilled for you. I don’t even know what it is but I am so excited!!! Arthur – – this is just the beginning for you. You are one talented young man! Mark my words!!!

    • Dear Stephanie,

      I hadn’t even thought about Unice. You are right, I guess I beat her to it and it’s better that way.
      Nat nominated me. She is really sweet. I believe she knows more about it. I just followed her Liebster Award story.
      Do you really think I could one day maybe publish anything? I wouldn’t know how to go about that. Do you?

      Kind regards,


      • I have absolutely no question about that, Arthur. There are so many ways to begin. Start researching, my friend. I am not familiar with the specific options of in your part of the world, but I know that talent like yours is talent that will not be suppressed.

  3. Oh Arthur, another good post about just rolling with the punches life throws at you. I laughed out loud at the last paragraph…not at you..oh no never…but that you have such a delightful way of describing everyday life.

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