Even though blogging has probably been one of the best things that has happened to me since last time I said that something was probably the best thing that had happened to me, I’m kind of frustrated with the thought that I can’t possibly write down everything that is happening in my life. There’s so much going on at the moment that I think is worthy of mentioning. So, here’s just one paragraph on each of the highlights. Brace yourselves onto your hats everybody (Franz said this the other day in class; we laughed our heads off).
Talking about Franz – the German exchange student who was not really an exchange student – he’s leaving us next year. He won’t be missed by many, because most pupils found him an obnoxious little twat. Franz and I have learnt to tolerate each others presence so I think I’ll kind of miss him next year. The reason that he’s moving back to Germany is because after so many years of living here, his parents just haven’t been able to blend into society. In other words, they still haven’t learnt to speak the language and feel socially isolated. I am too, but you don’t see me moving to Germany, do you!?
Mr Owen and Mrs Williams are madly deeply in love and are not afraid to show it in public. It grosses out everybody in the entire school, including the other teachers. Some of the pupils have agreed on yelling ‘Get A Room!’ each time they see the two being intimate again. Intimate in the broadest sense of the word. If the love duo even stare at each other for longer than 5 seconds you’ll hear voices coming from all directions and – don’t ask me how they do this – for some reason all at the same time and perfectly in tune. They must have been rehearsing this.
Mr Bent is doing just fine. He’s decided to do something with his life for a change. Although his body won’t allow him to do a lot of things – he’s beyond repair – he’s been going to some sort of club. He said that if I was able to become a more sociable person, then he should be able to do so, too. I have no idea what sort of club because he’s been very secretive about this. At least I’m glad that he’s finally got a place to go to other than the supermarket.
Evelyn, the love of my life, told her parents about me last weekend. They were not very thrilled about it. Evelyn did like the idea of meeting my parents, so she’s probably coming over this weekend. I’ve spent some extra time cleaning my room and tidying up the place. I have even offered Mum to help her clean the house, because I don’t want Evelyn to sit down on the sofa and leave with dog hairs all over her clothes. When I told Dad Evelyn was coming over this weekend he said,’ Make sure you’re wearing clean underwear.’ I wonder whom I got my social skills from.
Last but not least. I talked to Belle today – another friend from the Netherlands – and I explained to her that Cheddar was neutered some years ago. I always refer to the dog as ‘it’ which Mum and Dad find a little annoying. They keep saying,’ It’s a HE!’ but he hasn’t got the balls to show it. Mum and Dad didn’t want any puppies or ‘accidents’ as they called it. Though I haven’t the foggiest how one could accidentally have sexual intercourse. I’d like to note that It was not my idea of having the dog neutered, but –as far as I know – dog condoms had not been invented yet then and I think they still haven’t been invented. Even if they have, I don’t want to be the one sliding a condom on … you get the idea. I think this is about it. A short update on nearly everything. See me tomorrow.