Hopping Mad

11-04-2014 Friday

This morning, holiday started for me. Easter holiday, that is. Most of us pupils don’t even know what we’re celebrating at Easter. We don’t even care, just as long as we’re freed from school. This probably means that in a decade or something we’ll not have Easter holiday anymore. Nobody my age then will remember and nobody will be celebrating much of anything (except for the OAPs). It will be a thing of the past and we’ll be 35 years old and go like,’ Say, do you remember that some 20 odd years ago, when we were in secondary school, we’d have two weeks off?’ and there’d be a big silence and somebody’d be like,’ Yeah, you’re right. What was that all about, then?’
What is it all about? Most of us actually believe it has something to do with the Easter Bunny. Are they serious! We get two weeks off of school, because of a hopping mad bunny hopping around gaily with a basket full of eggs!? Where did he get those eggs in the first place!? That’s what I would like to know. Santa’s got his elves; does the Easter Bunny have his own chicken coops, where rainbow coloured chickens eat rainbow coloured seeds to produce rainbow coloured eggs? They just let that big bad Bunny take away their possible offspring and hide it from them?
Come to think of it. Maybe we have misinterpreted the whole thing. Maybe the Easter Bunny is not hiding eggs for us to find. Maybe he’s hiding the eggs so that the chickens will never find them. It’s just a big bad bully Bunny coming back each and every year to steal those eggs. And we go out and find those eggs, but instead of returning them to their rightful owners – the chickens that lay the rainbow coloured eggs – we eat them! I’d like this theory to be investigated. If anything turns out to be true, I would like to have full credit and I’d like this dreadful feast to be abolished right away.
Anyways, today was Dad’s birthday, but he was not celebrating. He was thinking about inviting the family over to Unice’s barbecue tomorrow evening, but Mum talked him out of it. I bought him a book about getting older and dealing with it (the title has slipped my memory and Dad has hidden the book in a good place – he’s got issues) and I bought him a pair of reading glasses (which he has probably hidden in the same place as the book). Dad is still denying the fact that he is getting older and that his eyes are getting worse. He can’t read the small prints anymore, but refuses to admit it. Each time he has to read small prints he asks Mum to read it to him as he’s got something stuck in his eye. How often can a man get something stuck in his eye? And is it always the same thing that gets stuck there? I guess I will find out when I’m his age. See me tomorrow. 

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17 thoughts on “Hopping Mad

  1. I’m stuck on the part where you get TWO WEEKS off? Wow, here in Canada we have Good Friday and some get Easter Monday, too. Though schools do have a week off mid March every year.

    • How many weeks off have you got during summer? I hadn’t realized you’re from Canada. Do you, by any chance, know of a guy called Geoff Berner. He lives in Vancouver and he is a great musician and supposedly a bit famous, too. My Dutch friend knows him very well. Geoff is coming to London in May (unfortunately, I am not allowed to go and see him live).

      • Public school students are off during July and August, high school kids get off a bit earlier. College students are writing their exams right now – (me included) and then we are off until September. I do not know Geoff. Vancouver is about 3000 miles west. I don’t follow music very much. Is Geoff an acquaintance of yours?

      • Dear Maggie,

        Well, at least you’ve got two months of holiday, which is something. Good luck on your exams. I don’t know Geoff personally, my Dutch friend does. 3000 miles … that’s a long way away.

        I’ll keep my fingers crossed for your exams.

  2. Arthur, where are you? It’s now Sunday night and I need to know what happened at the barbecue!!! Did you get drunk and have been hanging all weekend? Did Unice use the barbecue as a bait and you and the neighbours are being held captive in the marinaded meat version of the candy house in Hansel and Gretel? Or did Unice push you over the edge and you’re now on the run from the law?!!! I sincerely hope your absence is only because the gathering was that surreal you’re having trouble finding the right words to fully convey the horror to us.

    • Dear Gluestickmum,

      I didn’t get drunk, but I was deadbeat when I got home. Unfortunately I have to go to school in a bit, but I’ll tell you what happened as soon as I get home this afternoon. Thank you very much for the concern. All’s well. Hope you are fine, too.

      Kindest of regards,

      Arthur

      • I must have been drunk … it’s holiday. It says that I wrote the reply at 5.30 … when I looked at the clocked I thought it was 6.30. What I do know is that when I came downstairs, Mum was sitting there wondering why I was up so early. I was wondering why she hand’t made any breakfast, yet, as it was nearly time for school.

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