The Seven Servants

15-04-2014 Tuesday

Okay, I’ve been losing weigh but that does not mean I am now a top athlete. I am still not good at most sports. I can’t handle a ball, not with my feet, not with my hands, not with my head, and even if I were to use all my limbs I would still not be very good at controlling a ball. I’ve given up trying a long, long time ago (school hasn’t). Making big bucks playing football is only for the happy few anyways. I am getting better at doing press-ups, sit-ups and squats on the other hand and I have been throwing in some other muscle strengthening, belly flattening, fat burning exercises, too. That’s why I was down one size in clothing and I felt pretty good about it.
Mum has been gaining weight on the other hand. Even though I said I was changing to a healthier diet some two months ago, she’s still been secretly buying all kinds of bad stuff ‘just in case’. Just in case she wants some, she meant. Dad is not very pleased about it, though he’s not really doing anything to help Mum. He just says his side of the bed is getting smaller by the month (and ‘no’ Mum is not pregnant … I hope). Dad probably won’t start helping Mum until he has to sleep on the couch. That is why I have decided to give Mum a little help. I am hiding some of the bad food, and hopefully I can manage to do it in such a way she won’t really notice anything’s missing. She’ll probably hate me when she finds out, but she’ll love me later.
The next problem I am faced with is how to get Mum to exercise a little more without her knowing she’s exercising? As I believe that Mum really needs to get out more (she’s a wallflower just like me) I guess it would be a good idea to let her walk Cheddar more often or take her with me when I walk the dog. On the other hand, she’ll probably say something like,’ It’s your dog, and I am busy anyways.’ What is she busy with that is so important that it can’t wait an hour? Most of the times it’s watching her favourite programme on TV. I should say ‘programmes’ as she’s got a couple (EastEnders, Coronation Street, etc. etc. and so on). You’ll understand the importance of this, I’m sure.
Don’t take this the wrong way but Mum looks like an opera singer. Dad always says I have the voice of a thousand monkeys in heat, I think I got it from Mum. Her voice is even worse. She doesn’t need a phone to talk to Grandma, Mum can just open the window and people will probably hear the echo in Cambridge. Her voice is so incredibly loud. Yesterday I talked about reading Grimm’s Fairy tales; Mum could have well been part of the Six Servants, her voice is so loud I’m sure she could break anything if she’d really started yelling. Had the Grimm brother known my Mum I’m sure it would have been Seven Servants. I love her nonetheless.

See me tomorrow. 

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