When Unice Is Amused

16-04-2014 Wednesda 

Katie (http://katiemorningstar.wordpress.com/) told me that she’s got a new catch phrase ever since I wrote about my BBQ adventure ’ Unice was not amused’. I think I kind of like it. From now on when something happens that I don’t like, I’ll just say,’ Unice is not amused’. I thought of using it as an alternative for ‘When Hell freezes over’; ‘When Unice is amused’. Of course, people who never read my stories and who have never read them will not really understand. On the other hand, we use a lot of Shakespeare’s proverbs and sayings and most people understand them without ever having read Shakespeare or even knowing that they are actually quoting the man. Most of the times I don’t know it and I guess that, well, Shakespeare doesn’t know that he’s being quoted at all. Was Shakespeare himself quoting anybody without knowing it? All these questions and hardly any answers.
If you were wondering what happened to Unice after the BBQ, I can honestly say I haven’t a clue. As far as I know nobody in the street has bothered to go round and check on her and she hasn’t been to see anybody herself either. I wonder who’s doing her household chores for her because you can’t tell me she can actually do something with her hands. Her curtains have been open ever since. I know, as I can see her window from behind my desk. Normally she’d take a peek through the curtains every now and again (by the way … the smiley face is up again), but I reckon that she was having trouble opening them. I did catch a glimpse of her today … she was still not amused and my smiley face isn’t really helping.
I haven’t heard about anybody going to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped either, but I did hear about some people having tummy problems. I am not going to go into too many details, suffice to say that they spent most of their time in the bathroom either in front of the toilet or on the toilet, depending on which exit the decided to choose. Luckily my family and Evelyn and I stuck to salads and animal-friendly meat. Now I’m even happier Evelyn came along to the ‘party’.
Last thing I’m going to write about today is something that’s been bothering me for quite a while now. I don’t know if I’m the only who’s noticed but a lot of my classmates seem to be having problems and schools (including mine) have been making all sorts of special rules for these kids. All of sudden my peers and a lot of other teenagers, seem to suffer from alphabetical disorders of some sort: ADHD, PDD-NOS, ODD, ADD, NLD, and so on (note to self: it’s not called illiteracy – at least not anymore -, it’s called Dyslexia. Calling it illiteracy upsets people). The latest addition to this list of alphabet soup is SWAG. It’s quite new (maybe even old already, because I’m always the last person to hear about these things) and from what I’ve heard these kids are mentally challenged and are most likely to end up working at a McDonald’s. If anybody can tell me more about this, please let me know; I don’t think I have it, but I just want to be sure about it. See me tomorrow. 


10 thoughts on “When Unice Is Amused

  1. We called it illiteracy when I was in school. No one had an alphabet disease because parents didn’t allow the alphabet to get interfere with learning. 🙂 Great post!

  2. My sentence didn’t make any sense because I’m illiterate. Please ignore the “get” in front of “interfere.” 🙂

    • You are so right, the alphabet should mind its own business. I don’t know how to edit comments, otherwise I would have edited it out for you. We’ll just call this a type.

  3. Your smiley face would cheer me up if I had burnt hands. I’m surprised Unice hasn’t made some sort of device to twitch the curtains with.
    I like your new catchphrases and think I could easily slip them into conversation. Unice probably wouldn’t be amused to be immortalised in such a way, but once again I am very amused by your postings.

  4. Great post, Arthur! When I was a kid, which was many years ago, I was one of the first kids to be “diagnosed” with the “alphabetical disorder” known as PITA, which is more commonly known as “Pain In The Ass!” Although I feel that I have outgrown this “disorder,” Ms. Lewis (thequotegal.wordpress.com) seems to think that this is a chronic condition with me that has never gone away. I beg to differ, but sometimes I wonder if the condition is contagious as she has periodic bouts of GPITA, and the “G” stands for “Giant!” And when Ms. Lewis has those “episodes,” “Unice is not amused, and neither am I! 😉

    • I have to remember the PITA, I think we’ve got a couple of them walking around as well. Maybe we should make a list of symptoms for PITA and SWAG, just in case psychiatrists are interested. We could maybe sell it and become rich and famous.

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