Talking About

22-04-2014 Tuesday

‘On the 3RD day of Easter the things I got to see: three Easter Bunnies, two hands a burning and a drunk Uncle up shit creek.’ Dad smiled when he heard me “sing” it this morning. Mum looked a bit annoyed. I was just singing the truth. Jonesy was drunk the day before Easter and honoured us with a visit. Sunday he went to the hospital to see if his nose was broken; it was. We hadn’t heard from him after he had gone there, then it turned out he had to stay there because they had to reset his nose. Dad said it might teach him to stay off the booze. I kind of doubt it. Sometimes I feel I’m surrounded by alcoholics. At least they are all perfect examples of why I should refrain from drinking.
Talking about drunks: Grandma didn’t bring a live chicken last Sunday. This was a true blessing for everybody. She brought a dead one. The head and feathers were still on it and somehow Dad has a feeling she didn’t buy that at Sainsbury’s. She also brought some Cadbury Creamier than Creamy Eggs and two chocolate Easter bunnies (filled with genuine air). Grandma didn’t get drunk for a change, just a little tipsy. So, she didn’t dance on the table and she kept her nickers on. It was a good day.
Talking about chickens: Unice’s hands seem to be a lot better. They’re still wrapped up in bandages, but not as badly wrapped up as first. Just some small bandages that make her look like a penguin a little. How do I know all this? Well, she went round some places this late afternoon to tell everybody how she was doing. I reckon that nobody had thus far asked after her wellbeing and that she just decided to go round everybody who had attended the ‘party’ to let them know how she was doing. That’s so Unice. Dad wasn’t here to slam the door in her face, so Mum let her in and made her a cup of tea. As Unice was having problems holding onto the cup, she drank it through a straw. It’s quite silly to see a grown up drink tea through a straw. Out of pure solidarity I drank mine through a straw, too. Should I change the smiley face into a penguin?
Talking about Unice (And please don’t tell her this). She’s got something of a little garden in front of her house. There’s absolutely no room for it in our narrow cul-de-sac, but she just removed some tiles, planted some flowers and placed some pots and plants out in front of her door. Though I must say it looks nice, it’s wrong! She’s blocking the road and you’re not allowed to just remove some tiles just like that. Anyways, Cheddar is very pleased with her little garden as the first thing it does when we’re going for a walk is make a beeline to one of the pots and sprinkle the plants. I’m waiting for the day she’s going to come over and complain.
Tomorrow I’m going to see Evelyn, because she is coming over for dinner. I am very happy about this. I do so hope we don’t get any unexpected visitors this time: no Unice, no Grandma, and definitely no drunk Jonesy. Maybe I should make some signs and put them on the door. Like the ones they have in shops when dogs are not allowed in. Don’t think Mum and Dad would allow me to put them up on the door. On the other hand, I’m not so sure about Dad. Mum would go berserk, for sure. Dad might just agree with me. God, I love holidays; so little to do and so much time to do it in. See me tomorrow. 

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