Clowns Lie

08-06-2014 Sunday (Whitsun)

Mum and I went on another shopping spree and it was totally wicked. We went to Camden and this is really special, because Mum hates it there. Well, actually, hated, because she seemed to be enjoying herself yesterday. Her eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. And we even bought a great pair of jeans there and a very cool hat sort of thingy.20140609_090126-1

I won’t be allowed to wear it at school, but I think I’m going to wear it a lot in my leisure time. Shopping really cheered me up a lot. Dad had a great surprise for Mum when we got home. Even though he didn’t have to he did all the chores that were on Mum’s list. He had even made a great dinner. Well, Mum and I both suspect him of having ordered it and then presenting it as if it was homemade. Actually, we were pretty sure, Mum found some of the boxes in the bin outside. She didn’t say anything about it, though. I did.

Mum said,’ Wow, honey, you’ve really outdone yourself.’

Dad (stammering a little),’ Yeah, I found one of your cookbooks, and I though it looked really easy.’

Me,’ Ohw, you mean the Yellow Pages!?’

Stephanie told me that breaking up with Evelyn might just inspire me to write great things. Here’s an even that was really inspiring (maybe it was the combination of the event and the break-up). While walking through the city last yesterday Mum and I saw this really creepy looking street artist dressed as a clown. He called himself ‘the Great Zucchini’. He wasn’t that great though. From the looks of it he had drunk too much and the only thing funny about him was that he kept falling off of his unicycle. It looked to me as if he had come straight from a horror film. Mum told me the clown reminded her of the book ‘It’ by S. King. She said she has never been able to finish it, because it is dead scary. I haven’t read the book and if this clown resembled the clown from the book, I’m not going to read it either.
After he had given up trying to ride his unicycle he started a juggling act. He couldn’t even keep one ball in the air, let alone five. It was pathetic. Then he said he was going to drink some of his ‘magic water’, because that would probably make things go better. His so-called magic water looked more like booze to me and it smelled like it, too. I have no idea why we kept watching. Maybe we were somehow waiting for a trick to go right for a change. He held five balls in his hands, three in one and two in the other. He was building up tension by pretending to throw them up in the air, a radio behind him was playing Oh Fortuna, he murmured something about being the best juggler in the world and when he felt that the tension had reached a maximum he threw all five balls high up in the air at the same time. He caught none.

All this inspired me to write the following. It’s called Clowns Lie.

So bored by the faces
I know what they’ll do
The world will be laughing
They haven’t a clue
Just a few; happy few
Know the truth; they know why
I’m not laughing but sobbing
For clowns they all lie

Clowns they lie

Enough of the laughter
What’s wrong with the show
Some may find it funny
I’ve got class, don’t you know
Just a bunch have a hunch
What’s cramping their style
‘Cause clowns have been know
For all of their lies for quite a while

Clowns they lie

Come down here to float
They all float down here
On a bottle of whisky
On a bottle of beer
Come down here to lie
They all lie down here
On a bottle of whisky
On a bottle of beer

Now there’s a universal truth
That you just can’t deny
One day you will find out
That clowns they all lie
Just a few know it’s true
They can tell by the nose
It’s red from the booze
‘Cause that’s how it goes

Clowns they lie


Good night and see me tomorrow.

It’s My Party (and I … )

28-03-2014 Friday

I should have posted this yesterday, but I was too busy getting ready for today. Brace yourselves my birthday is coming and we’re celebrating it today (if I’m not here, you’ll know why). Mum sent me to the hairdresser’s yesterday, and we went shopping. She wants me to look like a real man this coming tomorrow. It was supposed to be a surprise party, but Grandma spoilt the surprise. I called her up yesterday to tell her once again about the ticket to the London Dungeon. When I wanted to hang up she said,’ See you tomorrow at noon, then.’ followed by a deafening,’ NOOOOO,’ by Mum and a,’ See, I told you so,’ from Dad. Sometimes I get the feeling that Mum and Dad live in a world I am not part of; sending each other messages that I don’t understand.
I haven’t said much about this, but I’ve lost some weight by paying attention to what I eat and by doing some exercises each night before I go to bed. It’s not much, but it’s something and it makes me feel a lot better about myself. Mum noticed it when we were buying clothes. I’ve grown an inch (maybe two) in length, but shrunk an inch (or two) in width. We were both a little proud and it really made my day and it made me look forward to my birthday even more. I am also very curious about what Mum and Dad got me. They told me I’d like it a lot, but they have really gone to great lengths to keeping this a secret. A surprise not even Grandma was able to spoil.
Also, Evelyn is going to come over today! So she’ll be celebrating my birthday with me and my wacky family. It’s too late now to inform her upfront about everybody. I’m just hoping nobody does anything embarrassing. You know what happened at Grandma’s the other day and I don’t think I could explain a thing like that to Evelyn. Let’s just pray that Grandma does not find our liquor cabinet. Dad days he has hidden all the ‘good stuff’ and by that I hope he does not mean all the sweets I like most.
When I woke up this morning and walked into the living room Mum and Dad had even decorated everything. I’ll be honest about this; I overheard them arguing while decorating the room last night. Mum kept changing the things Dad had done, Dad kept complaining that nothing he did was right, Mum kept saying that Dad just doesn’t know about these things and in the end I walked into the room and a nice sign said Hoorah, 14 Years! I’m turing 15, but it’s just a minor detail and Mum and Dad still haven’t noticed … I’m not going to say anything and see who discovers first. That person is going to get a prize. So, I’ll leave you for now. I’ll probably be telling you about this tomorrow. I’ll make up for the lost post. See me tomorrow.