When Mum was taking a shower this morning, Dad gave me a fiver and said I deserved it. I have no idea what I’d done and I wish he would tell me because I’d do it all again if there’s another fiver in it for me. A Sunday sure sounds great when first thing this morning Dad gives you a fiver. Too bad the joy of the fiver was overshadowed by Mum and Dad’s fighting. When Mum came downstairs she said we should go to Church like real Christians. Dad said we should stay home, wash the car and watch some good films like real Atheists. That’s got the fire started today. I was the agnostic front.
In the end Dad won. It was not because of good arguments, but because we were too late for church because of all the bickering. Next week Mum is going to go to church with Grandma and I’m more than welcome to come with. I think I’ll have to decline; one cannot be an agnostic front in church. On the other hand it might be really worth seeing Grandma in church. You never know what she is capable of doing. She might just ask one of the priests out on a date; that would be hilarious. I’m going to think about it.
Dad did as he said he would do; he washed the car and watched a film. As we don’t spend a lot of time together as father and son, I decided to help him. I stopped helping him after I got a scratch on the car. It was not really my fault. Dad had given me a sponge that had a small pebble stuck in it, because he had dropped it on the gravel earlier. He went through four stages of grief in less than five minutes. First I heard him say,’ No, no, no, there’s not a scratch on my car. Please, don’t tell me there is a (nasty atheist curse word) scratch on my car.’ It was followed by a cry for help. I believe I saw Unice taking notes from behind her curtains.
Then Dad got angry and started throwing wet sponges at his car. I hope that he removed the little pebble from it before he started throwing. He finished it off by throwing the bucket of water at his car. Luckily for Dad (and the car) the bucket missed. Finally he walked into the house, sat down in front of the telly and started watching TV. When Mum came in and asked what all the racket was about Dad said,’ Hi honey, the car’s got a scratch on it, nothing serious, you can hardly see it. When you squint a little and hold your fingers in front of your eyes like so nothing’s the matter. Don’t worry about it.’
Mum went round to Grandma’s to talk about her church idea and Dad and I stayed at home watching a film called ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’. It’s a good thing Mum wasn’t here, because she wouldn’t have liked this. Afterwards I gave Dad his fiver back, because I felt really sorry about his car. Hope everything will back to normal when Mum gets back. Well … maybe it just depends on what normality is anyways.
See me tomorrow.