Put On Your Gasmasks

10-03-2014 Monday

It’s Monday, spring is in the air as well as love and hay fever. Mrs Hoover wasn’t at school. She was at home struggling with hay-fever symptoms. Somebody told me she was going to see a doctor about it as she had never had hay fever before and they might want to check if it is not some killer flu or anything. For her sake I hope it’s just hay fever, for the sake of my fellow pupils, I’m hoping it’s something worse than that. For my sake I’m hoping it’s something bad enough to keep her down at least till Friday, but not bad enough to kill her, because she still has to give me back my mark for my last test.
I think Mr Owen and Mrs Williams have a severe case of the love. I saw them coming out of the teacher staff room today. Mr Owen grabbed Mrs Williams by the arm (or hand, I’m not sure) and said,’ Tonight?’ as he looked at her in a very weird way. I can’t really explain it that well, but I’ll try my best. Let’s say you were just given your favourite sweet (or biscuit), but you were not allowed to eat it right away. The sweet is within eyesight, it makes your mouth water, you’re all happy about the sweet and you’re thinking about how you are about to devour it completely. Then suddenly it is pushed in your direction and closer to your mouth. The look that you have on your face at that very moment is just the look Mr Owen had. With his lips curling up and wet and all. Mrs Williams responded in a girlish voice with a decisive,’ Tonight.’ and she gave him ‘the wink’. Then she turned round, all blushing, her skirt twirling round her legs as in those romantic films, and a smile on her face that said it all. I felt kind of dirty after this, knowing that she’s been winking at every guy she sees including me. I need a shower.
I’m not going to wash my hand ever again, though, but that is for another reason. As I said, love is in the air and you should either start wearing a gasmask or you’re sure to be infected by it too sooner or later. Evelyn and I held hands today. Though it was not in plain sight. That’s not our style. It was under the table and though it felt as if it lasted forever I guess it was maybe five minutes or something.
During lunchtime I ended up at sitting at the same table as Evelyn. Okay, maybe that wasn’t really a coincidence; we may have done it accidentally on purpose if you know what I mean. Anyhow, we were sitting there, eating our lunch. Mum had packed an apple and some homemade sandwiches with something that I couldn’t identify but looked very healthy. Evelyn on my left and I was on her right. My left arm was just, I don’t know, dangling there, being useless, when I felt the back of Evelyn’s hand touching mine. It was so soft and warm.
First, one of our fingers got hold of each other, then another and another, and before we knew it we were holding hands, just like that. It felt so good holding her hand in mine. I think we were both blushing and I think I could hear her heartbeat going just as fast as mine. We didn’t really dare to look at each other or at anybody else. I don’t think anybody noticed anything except for us. No way Mrs Williams is going to get away with another wink at me. Back off, lady, this man is taken!

See me tomorrow.  

They Are Out There

05-03-2014 Wednesday

Seriously, they should kill the guy who invented ‘the flu’. If he’s dead already, serves him right! This stupid flu has been keeping me in bed for two days now and I don’t see any improvement. It feels like things are getting worse. My throat is sore and my body thinks I’ve been lifting weights for every muscle in my body hurts like (bad word). Mum’s been feeding me aspirins and I’ve been eating them as if they were sweets. I’ve had better treats than that.
Lying in my bed being ill made me wonder. What if the human brain is nothing more than a highly developed computer? Our computers are getting smarter and smarter by the day, maybe even by the minute. It could well be that somewhere in the (near?) future we develop a computer much like the human brain, right? I know, I know, we don’t even have hooverboards yet, but we’ve got robots and we’ve got memory cards the size of a pea that carry tons of data. It shouldn’t be too long before we have found the missing link between brains and computers.
Most computer viruses, if not all, are written by man. Computers don’t write their own viruses and they also don’t just pop up from out of nowhere. Sometimes these viruses are written by the people who also have shares in anti-virus software, sometimes they even own the entire anti-virus software and thus they make big money on this by selling that software. I wish I were that smart.
What I am saying is that maybe we are just highly developed computers and ‘the flu’ is a virus written by our ‘creators’ to make money. Aliens out there are making big bucks on ‘the flu’. It is quite logical that we won’t ever find a cure for the flu because as soon as we would find a cure somebody out there, in that vast and ever expanding universe, a green bug-eyed monster is making big bucks over our backs. He’s just rewriting the ‘flu’ programme every now and then to be able to sell updates on his software.

Or maybe this was just the fever talking. I’m going to get some sleep. See me later. Image

I Could Be Hip

04-03-2014 Tuesday evening

If flu is all the rage at the moment, I am one of the hip people. I’d probably be one of the coolest around, because I’m that ill. If it’s not, than I’m just the same old never-get-the-fad-right kind of guy. While I am lying here in my bed the world is just passing me by outside my window while I am thinking,’ I should not have slept so much.’ Some people never seem to run out of sleep, I think I have just run out of mine. It’s just that I don’t feel well enough to get out of bed and go for a nice little walk with the dog. The minute I get up my world starts spinning.
Mum has been great today. She really took care of me this time. She brought me tea and biscuits, practically the only food that my stomach agreed with. Mum took my temperature and she made a nice hot-water bottle for me to keep me warm when I was cold. At one point she even asked me if I wanted her to read me a story. That’s when I told her I wasn’t five anymore, but that I would be glad if she did. Just as long as she didn’t make a habit out of it. I think she really missed the little boy she once had. We kids grow up so quickly, don’t we!? Mum and Dad are vast asleep at the moment. I don’t think Mum would appreciate it if I woke them up so she could read me another story.
When Dad came home he checked up on me. Well, he stuck his head round the door to see if I was sleeping and that’s more or less it. Since he made those nasty remarks about Mr Bent our relationship has really hit rock-bottom and this might just be his way of starting to say he’s sorry. It’s hard for people to admit they were wrong and say sorry, Dad would sooner die than to say he’s sorry. Maybe it’s his line of business, although I have no idea what business that would be. It’s even very likely that Mum sent him upstairs to check up on me.
It’s amazing how humans have found ways to prevent or cure diseases like: the plague, consumption, jaundice, etc. but a simple thing like the flu is impossible to cure. The doctors just say,’ Take some aspirins, drink lots of water, stay in bed for a week, and if it’s not gone in two weeks, come and see me again.’ Then when you come back in two weeks, they give you some stronger medication and say the same thing again. How’s that for a cure!?
Let’s see if I can catch some sleep again. I’ll probably wake up in the middle of the night and lie awake for at least an hour. Guess Mum won’t be there to bring me a nice hot cup of tea and I guess she won’t appreciate it when I stumble down the stairs to make one myself. I can already see the look on her face. Well, see me – atchoo – tomorrow. 

What To Do With The Flu?

21-01-2014 Tuesday


Six times and counting. I have picked up the phone six times today to call Evelyn, every time I picked up the phone I realised the same thing: I don’t have her number. Even I did have her number I’d probably hang up as soon as she’d answered. Forget about it. It’s not going to happen.

Maybe the flu has gone straight to my head. It’s been three days and I still feel shitty. I am getting better though. Sunday and Monday I was too ill to even write. I slept through most of the weekend and Monday. Sleeping through Monday was probably the best thing ever, because I heard it was Blue Monday. When I looked into the mirror yesterday it looked more like a Pale Monday to me.

The flu is actually a strange thing, isn’t it? We find cures for everything, but we still haven’t found a good cure for one of the most common diseases known to mankind. All doctors can say is something like,’ Take some aspirins, take a rest, and if that doesn’t work see me again in two weeks.’ How is that for a cure!?

Mum is being very helpful. She has brought me breakfast, dinner, food and every now and again some tea and aspirins. I wonder if Yumchaa could come up with some kind of tea that lightens the burdens of flu. Maybe they could come up with something like tea to unclog the nose or to help ease the throat. For some reason I feel that tea companies could do so much more for society than just provide a cure for thirst. Or is it just the flu talking?

Cheddar has also been very friendly. It hasn’t left my side. Well, maybe it has, because Cheddar is not allowed to wet my bed or do a number two in the house. Other than going for a walk with Mum, Cheddar has been by my side and under the blankets since I went to bed on Saturday. Mind you, Cheddar normally isn’t allowed in bed, just on special occasions just like this. Mum says dogs make the bed smell funny and it is not hygienic. If the latter is the case, then why is he allowed when I am ill?

I am going to go back to sleep now. Hopefully, tomorrow I will feel even better. I am looking forward to going back to school; I am getting more bored in bed than I normally am during my lessons. See me tomorrow.