Evelyn Wow


03-02-2014 Monday


A major breakthrough for me today! I talked to Evelyn and this time it was more than just three words. Even more than five words. It was all because I started feeling really, really sorry for her after having heard people started calling her Evelyn Wow. I was wondering why at first. It could have been wordplay on Evelyn Waugh, but then I figured not many of my fellow peers would know the guy. Then I thought it was just because she always amazes people with her silly answers and she makes people go,’ Wow!’ It probably won’t be long before people will start referring to her as the ‘Wow-girl’. Which is why I decided to talk to her, I guess.


I’ll admit, it wasn’t a very long conversation, but at least we exchanged some words together. It started off with the usual ‘How are you?’ and ‘K’ thing after which I fell silent for a minute or two and we just stood there looking round a bit. I was desperately looking for conversation and trying to think of what normal people say to each other that is not about the weather. That’s when I thought of the book ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide’. Although I must admit, Evelyn does not look like the girl who’s really into reading much of anything; it was worth a shot, wasn’t it? Maybe she was reading it too.


‘Have you read any good books lately?’ I asked her.


First she gave me that look. You know, the look when you find out your parents have had to have sex together. That face. Then she figured she might as well just answer the question, and said,


‘Not much of a reader. You?’


‘Not much of a reader either.’


Okay, so I lied to her, which is not a good start of any relationship, I know. I couldn’t help myself and I didn’t want to make her feel any more uncomfortable.


‘Seen any good films?’


‘Don’t like ‘em.’


All right, this was where I started to wonder what I was doing. I was running out of questions (I didn’t have any in the first place) and I really had to find a way to leave her without her noticing me feeling a bit awkward here. That’s when she said,


‘Gotta go, meet some friends. Later, dude.’


That’s when she walked away and when she turned round the corner, I let out a big sigh of relief. Man, was I scared. Those were probably the five longest minutes in my entire life. Next time I will have to come prepared. Maybe I should write down some questions or topics or anything before I start talking to people again. Aren’t there any YouTube instruction films on how to make conversation with anybody?


When I got home after school I took Cheddar for a long walk. Man, was that dog a happy dog. I felt kind of stupid and silly after that conversation. How do people do that: talk? What do they say to each other and how? All these thoughts were going through my mind and I ended up thinking about Valentine’s Day, which is just round the corner. Should I maybe get Evelyn a box or chocolates or anything? It might brighten up her day and it would make me feel a little better, too. I’ll have to think about that very carefully, because I don’t want to jump into things and I don’t want to give her the wrong idea. Maybe Mr Bent could advise me on this. Oh well, I’ll see and you’ll see me tomorrow.