A Stroll Is Vertically Relaxing

08-03-2014 Saturday

Saturday and, when it comes to the weather, what a lovely day it was. Mum, Dad, Cheddar and I went out for a stroll with no particular place to go. It’s not often we do these things, but when we do, we’re sure to enjoy it. Though Dad would have rather had that Cheddar stayed at home. I gave him this dagger look and Mum poked him in his ribs with her elbow, that’s when he gave in. I guess we had stronger arguments than him.
As soon as we had set foot outside the door Grandma showed up. She wanted to know if we wanted to go out for a stroll through the park. I suspect Mum of having called her up to tell her we were going out for a walk. Dad would have rather had that Grandma stayed at home. Mum gave him this dagger look and she poked him in the ribs. I was on Dad with this one, but Mum had stronger arguments than us.
So, Grandma and Cheddar both got to tag along. Kensington Park is where I normally go when I walk Cheddar, so we know the park pretty well, though today we took another route than I normally do. We first passed Kensington Palace where Grandma had keep on asking if this was where the Queen lived and if we could go for a cup of tea then. Mum tried to explain, Dad and I didn’t really bother. Either Grandma was pulling Mum’s leg or she was genuinely loopy. Either way, she would have gone on asking silly questions anyways.
Then we went to the flower walk where the squirrels are. Those animals are so adorable. Though you are not allowed to feed them, we did bring some nuts (at least Dad did, he came prepared). Grandma wanted to take one home with her in her handbag. She put it on the ground and kept throwing nuts in them. Mum kept on saying that Grandma was not allowed to have pets in her place. Grandma was having the time of her life, while Mum was getting fed up with the joke and by the time we reached the Albert Memorial, Mum was wishing she hadn’t called Grandma. Talking ‘bout just desserts.
I think the Albert Memorial was a waste of money. It must have cost a fortune and it will probably only gain in value over time. I say we sell the (nasty word) thing, and use that money on, I dunno, me? No, seriously, this monument, if sold, could easily solve the hobo problem we have here in London. We could give all of them a lovely home, some guidance, a counsellor and some good education. Instead we choose to keep it. I think it’s pretty selfish of the state.
If we keep it to honour this Albert, then why did we name the entire royal hall after him as well? If you’d ask me, London should choose between keeping that hideous statue that is only there for tourists and birds to do their business on or a lovely hall where people can enjoy music and such. I am trying to be as neutral here as possible. I don’t really mind which one of these two London decides to get rid off, as long as it’s not the Royal Albert Hall. It’s up to you London. Grandma agreed with me on this matter, but we were not able to convince Mum or Dad on this. Cheddar is still in two minds about it.
From the Royal Albert Hall along The Long Water onto the Italian Gardens. This is where I normally sit down with Cheddar when the weather permits. It’s so peaceful and often very quiet in the morning or in the evening. We all sat down together. This was actually a very peaceful moment. The other day a friend said something to me about enjoying the silence together and I think that’s what we all did. At least until Grandma let one go. That’s when we all stood up and left. The smell of it followed us all the way back to our place.
Mum thought Grandma had shat her pants so Mum let Grandma fresh up at our place. Although I though it was quite funny when Grandma let one go, I felt kind of sad as well. I am starting to think she is really losing it. Mum can’t really cope with it and Dad doesn’t seem to care. He just thinks she’s annoying old tart that should have been put into a home years ago. To some extend Dad is right, it’s just that he does not have a nice way of putting it. Maybe it would be best for Grandma if she was put in a home, but I don’t think Mum is going to go along with it. Thinking about this has kept me up half of the night. It’s now half past one and I should have been asleep already. I am going to give it another try now. Goodnight and see me tomorrow. Actually, it already is tomorrow. See me today.

Oh Me, Oh My

London is the place where I would like to die
It’s got St Paul’s, Tower Bridge and then the great London Eye
It ‘s not one out of many
London’s worth your every penny
Though some people are uncanny
Like the baby murdering nanny 

Oh me, oh my
London is the place where I would like to die

The Thames is full of shit but it’s a lovely sight
Just like Amen Court and South Bank by night
Old Bailey’s just and fair
She’s got a tale or two to share
Babies’ bodies everywhere
She put Amelia in good care

Oh me, oh my
London is the place where I would like to die 

Have you ever seen a place grander than life?
Better pack your bags and grab your trouble and strife
Hop on a boat
Hop on a train
Better hop on a plane

You know it takes all sorts and London has them all
Downing Street, Canary Wharf and then Royal Albert Hall
People working round the clock
Some put you into a state of shock
Amelia Dyer wants to talk.
She’ll meet you again at Dead Man’s Walk

Oh me, oh my
London is the place where I would like to die